


McGameTheory (tm)

by honeyc0rpse



Category: Lemon Demon (Musician), Spirit Phone - Lemon Demon (Album), Touch-Tone Telephone - Lemon Demon (Song)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, One Shot, mcdonalds, this was supposed to be a joke fic idk why i put so much effort into it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29435316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyc0rpse/pseuds/honeyc0rpse
Summary: A half-human half-arcade machine and a conspiracy theory walk into a McDonald's. You won't believe what happens next.(Semi-joke fic inspired by the constant spamming of LD fans asking McDonald's if they ship Game Theory)
Relationships: Touch Tone Telephone/Cabinet Man
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	McGameTheory (tm)

**Author's Note:**

> happy fucking uh . valentines day  
> there was no reason i had to write this honestly but if mcdonalds does see this i will shit my pants  
> there's really no plot its just cute shit  
> this is another insert your own ocs situation!! cabinet man goes by he/it and ttt goes by he/him :]  
> also as it is 3 am as i type this so dont expect any of the grammar to be good

“Ahhhhh!” It complained—leaning over and resting its chin on the other’s shoulder, knees trembling in an attempt to keep it upright. “Are we there yet Telly?”

“Hm?” Telly angled his head downwards, looking at his watch.“ Not quite. In fact, Cabby, we’ve barely been walking for fifteen minutes.” His walking came to a quick stop. 

“I know but—owwww!” He stumbled, placing more of his weight onto Telly. “I haven’t been out in, I dunno, at least two years? This is killing my legs, man! I can’t imagine doing this every day, let alone with other people around!” 

“Frankly, that doesn’t surprise me,” Telly brushed it off, paying more of his attention to their current location, then to a drawing on his hand that imitated the likeness of a map. “Shoot.” 

“Eh?” 

“I think I screwed up on the way here, and if memory serves me right…” He peered across the barren asphalt, the broken down and quivering streetlights, and the street sign that loosely hung in place. He squinted before sighing not even a second after. “And I’m afraid that I may be correct.” Looking back at a worn-out Cabby, he asked: “Would you rather we head the other way or?—”

“Ahhh, Telly. Could we maybe—” it pointed to a flickering light, “head over there?” The light soon came into focus, fixing itself into a more visible image; that of the McDonald’s logo. 

“You…want to visit a McDonald’s? And an abandoned one at that?” 

“‘Course I do! Well, it’s better than freezing to death outside, at least. I mean, look at you, Tells—you look like you’re gonna turn into an ice statue!” He cackled out. It had been years since either of them had been inside said building; Telly had little care for establishments in general and Cabby was literally not able to due to his current state. 

“Fine. But are you sure?” 

“Mhm.”

“You’re sure sure?” 

“Yep!” 

“Alright then.” Cabby stumbled back to regain some form of proper posture and followed behind Telly. The distance wasn’t too long—maybe a five-minute walk at best—but such a distance strained Cabby immensely.

“Has it always looked like  _ that?”  _ They came closer to the door, covered in dirt and standing upon a pile of glass shards. Each window was glazed with an assortment of cracks and the like, leaving a mess in front of the entrance. “Jeez! You’d think they’d put  _ some _ fucking effort into making the place look nice.” 

“…You are aware this location has been abandoned for quite some time now, right?

“Nope!” Pushing its weight onto the doorframe and stumbling inside. “Augh!” He stood back up and wiped the grime off of himself. Looking back up, the desolate image that called itself a restaurant cleared up. Surrounding him was a cloud of almost opaque dust sweeping through the air and the ground. The floor wasn’t much better either—weeds lay dead from the cracks and bits of food and dirt stuck atop each tile. The dust that floated through the air launched Telly into a coughing fit and a rough one at that. This caused Cabby to grip him by the shoulder and hold him close, with the coughing soon coming to a stop.

“Cab,” he panted out, trying to regain his breath, “You’re—” Cabby let go immediately, looking away as well. “Oh, it wasn’t anything bad, it was just—Nevermind.” Telly took a moment or two to observe their surroundings; a darkness encompassed much of the walls and general areas of the building, but several (somewhat) intact booths and warped tabled sat still to their right. “Hm…” Telly struggled with his bag before pulling out his flashlight which practically blew the place up in a blinding white. 

“Ahhw—Ow ow ow!” It yelped, covering its eyes and shutting them tight. The flashlight flickered off immediately, followed by Telly lightly gracing its back with his hand.

“Are you doing alright? I’ll dim the light down if you’d prefer that.” Cabby peeked out from his hand, but just by a bit.

“Nah, I’m fine now! It’s just—whew—it’s not every day that I see lights as bright as that.” Despite what he just said, Telly wrapped the flashlight with his scarf as to weaken the light. They stood in silence—well, not for long—

_ Bip! Bip bip bip! _

“Are the cash registers working by themselves right now?” The beeping continued. “No, no. That can’t be it; they’re way too close to us at the moment. What do you think is it?” Telly met eye-to-eye with Cabby before putting two and two together. His eyes pointed elsewhere, legs trembling, and beeping continued blasted from his chest. “…Oh.” Situations like this were few in far between, but at this point in time Telly was able to decipher what it meant. To put it simply, this was Cabby’s way of emitting a romantic gesture as well as acting as an instinctual response to affection. “You’re…doing that thing again, aren’t you? With your chest?” Cabby darted back to Telly, and then to its chest.

“Uh, uhm, uh. Yeah—I guess I am! Hahaa…” he beeped. ”I just think I’m a bit worked up, you feel me? Haha, I’m gonna go sit down if you don’t mind,” Laughing it off nervously, Cabby inched away from Telly and felt around for a booth before eventually sitting himself down. 

After readjusting the flashlight, Telly started to search through the building. It reeked of mildew and mold, almost as if it hid in the walls. The soda fountain dripped with muddied waters, the counters were abundant with webs and dust, et cetera et cetera. 

“Pfft,” Telly let out a subtle giggle, “I wouldn’t be surprised if the ice cream machine was the only thing that worked here. Of course, that’s near impossible seeing how poorly kept this place is, but it would be a little funny.” Navigating around the Mcdonald’s didn’t take long at all, seeing as it was a smaller location compared to others. And unfortunately, nothing paranormal or supernatural was discovered; the closest thing to that would be for the occasional cockroach and the decomposing ceiling. 

He sat right next to Cabby, scooching close enough to make contact with its legs. “Compared to the rest of this place, it’s rather warm here, right?” Cabby peered at him, then to the table, then back at him.

“Sure! It is warm!”  _ Bip bip bip bip bip bip bip! _ Not startled whatsoever, Telly gently placed his hand onto Cabby’s shoulder and pulled himself closer to it—making its heart beep louder as well, he couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Super warm. Real warm.” 

“That does seem to be the case.” Telly rested his head onto Cabby. “Man, this turned out to be quite a bummer. Not hanging out with you, of course; but I was hoping to actually find something interesting here.” 

“Maybe that’s okay!” it buzzed, “You don’t need to constantly work on gathering evidence or looking for stuff. We can just stay here!—or not. This place fucking reeks.” 

“Yeah…now that I do think about it, this wasn’t such a good idea.” Telly placed his free hand over Cabby’s, holding it gently. “It’s not so bad, though; at least I’m with you.” 

_ Bip bip bip bip bip bip! _


End file.
